"Heavy"?

So, through the grapevine of the webs of inter, I found this semi-article called Stars Who Look Better Heavier. Of course, it's on Yahoo, so you can't expect it to be intelligent.

What I expected was pictures of people like Adele or Oprah, but instead you get mostly Jennifer Garner, Nicki Minaj, and Lindsay Lohan.

Bitch, please.

Lindsay and Jennifer are TOTALLY not overweight, especially not Lindsay, what with her drug escapades. It surprised me that there were so many pictures of Jennifer Garner, because she's one of the actors who I list in my head as "skinny as hell". And as a side note, Nicki Minaj shouldn't even be counted as "curvy" or "heavy" because she is mostly made out of plastic (she denies it, but a butt that big just isn't natural), so it's cheating.

Khloe Kardashian is also on there, and that just made me angry because she's just irrelevant in more ways than just this.

I'm kind of afraid to see what they think is "Average". Probably something like this:

OHEMGEE she'z so fattttt

So this is obviously a problem for me.

I consider myself skinny, being a size 4, but if I didn't have the inherent curves that I do, I would probably be smaller than that. I can literally feel my hip bones through my skin when I touch it, and I'm actually afraid of losing any weight because the skin might tear off. That's probably not an issue, but it feels that way to me, and it hurts an extra ton when I bump into a table or countertop because there's barely any protective cushioning there. So I'm definitely not afraid of gaining weight because I feel like I could use some meat on my bones.

I could go on and on about how I hate society and its ways of making everyone feel inadequate by using the massive power of Photoshop for evil instead of good, but I've come up with a theory. I believe that everyone, including men and androgynes and everyone in between, is built with a sense that they are physically inadequate, whether it's sensitivity about hair loss or feeling as though they're out-of-shape or going gray or getting wrinkles or they're too pale or they're too dark or too fat or their nose is too big or too small or too curved or too straight. Everyone thinks that they're unattractive in some way, no matter what size or shape or color they or any of their features are. That's just the way humans think.

Obviously there is no proof of early humans thinking these thoughts, but I've noticed that as far back as records take us, most everyone believes in their own defectiveness.

And this whole thing just makes me frustrated, because most of them have the strong urge to fix it. Sure, I see the flaws in my appearance, and there are times when I want so badly to get a nose job, but I stop and think about who I inherited it from, and how it probably has been in my family for countless generations, and that makes me remember that everything that makes me look the way I do was part of someone else hundreds of years ago. Not to mention the hundreds of other ancestors that contributed to my genetic makeup. But to think that I am made up of little parts that copied from someone else makes me think that I am completely made up of hundreds of people, and that makes me feel special. It also makes me feel special that I have a different shape and a different weight and a different colored skin and a different face than everyone else. Then I just remember that there are people who would think that my nose and the fact that I am the biggest dork in the world is cute, and this supports my other theory; that everyone in the world is born with a 100% perfect match somewhere else in the world. They might be the same gender, but that's okay because they'll end up loving each other anyway because of their cute nose or their dorkiness.

So every time that I see some woman in a magazine ad, I just remember that she's not different, and I end up not admiring her for being on some piece of paper connected to other pieces of paper, especially when her perfect hair and skinny waist was probably sent through some computer somewhere with image-modifying software. And I look at her hair and compare it to everyone else's hair and I realize that the modified image looks more alien than everybody else, because humans can't naturally look like that.

So that's my Poetry Slam moment. I just had to get some of that off my chest after seeing that article, and not all of my thoughts can fit into a Facebook status.