Tales from the Past

AAAAH! It's been too long since I've posted on my blog! So I will now, and tell you the stories that I have promised, after telling you an update on my life.

Yesterday, I woke up with immense pain in my neck, and I didn't feel exceptional, either, so I stayed home from school and went to the chiropractor. They did this thing with a computer and a little device that showed how much stress is put on my spinal cord. Everything was supposed to be green dashes, but there were three pink arrows pointing away from the left side of my neck and one pink arrow pointing the other way at the bottom of my neck. So we did the original routine; neck-cracking, "pretzel", and the breathe out thing. Then she put me on The Table, which is supposed to relax and stretch out your spine, but it was really awkward laying on it. I'm not sure exactly why, but it was really weird. Then I got up and tried to move my neck, and I couldn't at all to the left, so I said something about it and she did the routine again, without the table part, and it felt slightly better, so I didn't complain again, and then my dad and I got Subway and went home. I used an ice pack for a while, and then I used some Icy Hot and then I used ice again, and then I had to go to bed, but that was when it hit me that I would be miserable at school the next day because everybody in the music program was going to Canada, which means Kathy, One, Two, Max, Kevin, and Four. Stephanie wouldn't be leaving, and neither would I, so we would stay at school and mainly 2nd and 3rd periods would be torture, and so would lunch. 2nd period because that's the one class that me, Kathy, and Stephanie all have together, and Kathy and I always have something to talk about, but I never have anything to talk about with Stephanie. 3rd period would be torture because that's band, and I would be the only alto sax that isn't going to Canada. It would suck. There would also be, like, 7 kids in that group of people, including me and Stephanie. Lunch would be torture because without my current friend group around, Stephanie and I wouldn't have anywhere to go. Our old friend group treated us like crap, so we wouldn't have anything to do. In fact, I hadn't realized how much I hated it around where we used to hang out until I went there a few weeks ago and realized how miserable I was there and how much I hated it.

So anyways, now for the stories.

I'll start with the scary guys who liked me, in chronological order. First was Ronald, who was a 2nd grader when I was in 3rd grade. He had this weird, unruly white-man-fro and he really reminds me of Hutch from Fanboys. (Link in his name.) He would always look at me with these crazy eyes and he would smile ALL. THE. TIME. He was really creepy. Then in 5th grade, there was Roger. He was this fat kid with another white-man-fro and his entire body would move around like Jell-O when he walked. He was really gross. Also, when I dyed streaks of my hair blue, he spray-dyed his hair green, and his hair was so greasy, the spray-dye bubbled up like water where the grease was, which was everywhere. It made me want to gag. Also, one time, when we were forced to work together, he didn't do anything and sang the whole time. When I asked him to stop, he said, "What, I can't sing?" I just said that it was annoying and distracting and he kept on singing. So he was gross and disgusting. Nobody else liked me up until this year, when Rudolph liked me. He's short, and he seriously looks like his face was messed up in some kind of accident, but he always says that he was born like that. Sometimes, when I'm just sitting at my desk, minding my own business, he'll come up to the black basket, where our class turns stuff in for 5th and 6th period, also where I sit, and he'll just look through it for no real reason, and then go back to his seat. He also looks at me, trying to be inconspicuous, but it's really obvious. There's also Randolph this year, who is both crazy and gross. He smells like cat pee, and either his hair is really greasy, or he uses hair products to make him look like he hasn't taken a shower in weeks. He glances at me sometimes, and the most demented part is that he tries to show off that he's smart. When he's called on for the answer in class, he shrugs while giving the answer as if it was no big deal. He also says it in this really loud, proud voice, especially when he's reading something aloud. When he started reading in 5th and 6th period, you could hear the entire class comment about the volume of his voice. Even Liz and I looked at each other and said, "Jesus! He's so loud!" I know he's just showing off, though. I'm a quiet person in class. I don't like to talk, and I'm not showy at all, so I have no idea where he got the idea that I would like that.When we do science projects, he claims that he's done these before at his old school, probably assuming that I'll say, "He's SOOOO smart!" and fall head-over-heels for him, but there is no chance whatsoever that that will ever happen in my lifetime. Sorry boys, but there's another man.

Now I must tell you about Jack Henderson.

Long ago, in the days of Kindergarten, there was this huge, wooden boat on some kind of loft thingy in the Duck Clan classroom at Pathfinder. (Instead of rooms, there were clans named after a certain animal.) This boat was filled with little toys. Most of them were old and had lost a lot of pieces, but there was one toy that was an honor to use, and that was the binoculars. I was the one that discovered that if you look into them backwards, everything would be smaller. So anyway, It was the first day of Kindergarten and I had already made friends with every girl in the classroom. I got up in the boat, and I started playing with toys with Rain and Aster, and Jack walked up to me, and said, "Hi! I'm Jack Henderson! Wanna play with me?" I never lost a chance to say yes to somebody who asked me to be their friend or to play with them, so I enthusiastically said, "SURE!" And Rain and Aster got up too, and we were the bestest friends EVER. We were all in the same class until 2nd grade, when Jack got put in the Spider Clan instead of the Frog Clan, and at the end of the year Rain moved to Burien, and Aster switched schools to Gatewood. By then, I was friends with Emma, so in third grade, We met Tzeitel, and in fourth grade, Jack got put back in the same class as us (Otter Clan) and that year was when we met Rosetta. Jack would always build these beautiful structures out of those little pattern blocks that you never knew was possible with so simple a toy. However, Jack had a low self-esteem, so he would say, "It's not good," when I gave it high praise and he would knock it all down and start again. Of course, this was when we were all older, so people started to think more of a boy and a girl being friends, but they couldn't just be friends, so we would get made fun of, and every time we were, he would have to sit as far away from me as possible. One day, some eighth grader threw his shoe in a really tall tree, and he was crying because he didn't think that he would be able to get it back. I encouraged him, and said that I would help him climb the tree and get his shoe back. Of course, along came the three stupidest, meanest girls, my arch nemeses, Thyroidcancer, Kyra, and ED. They saw us both climbing the tree, and HAD to take this opportunity to chant the taunt that we all know. Jack climbed as fast as he could, got his shoe, climbed down as fast as he could, and ran away. You had no idea how much I wanted to kill them all, nor how many times I had this impulse. Thyroidcancer, Kyra, and ED were nicknamed Devil #1, Devil #2, And Devil #3. They were all really stupid and mean. I wanted them all to die a lot.

Anyways, those are my stories. I must go now. Goodbye!

Earthquakes

Today, Kathy came over after school. We walked to Hiawatha Park and sat on the swings and then walked home. Isn't it amazing how many anthills you see at this time of year? I was very careful not to step on any and potentially kill all those harmless ants and their homes. It would kill a little bit of my soul if I did.

Anyway, the point of this blog post is earthquakes, obviously, as you can tell by the title. I am interested in earthquakes now, because I watched a video in science class about the 6.8 earthquake that hit Kobe, Japan in 1995. Video:



Another one like that hit San Francisco in 1998, and another one right here in Seattle in 2001. Why is it that even though I was four, I have never personally experienced an earthquake before in my life? I'd like to, because it would be kind of fun, but I'm not saying that the damage afterward wouldn't suck.

I was talking to Raechelle about this and we were surfing YouTube for videos and there was one about a sinkhole that opened up right underneath a house and the whole family inside the house most likely died. Is it heartless that while I was watching the video, I was really mostly thinking about how much I hated the blue roof? It was blue! What the hell!

In other news, I heard that both Two and Max think I'm interesting. This is meaningful to me, because apparently Max had a questionable attitude about me. But yesterday, on the bus for the field trip, Me, Kathy, and Max were all talking together, and Max thinks I'm a good person now. I'm not so sure exactly about Two, but he's been noticing that I'm there a lot more than he used to, so I'm pretty excited. This might be the first sane and/or good-looking guy that has had an interest in me since Jack Henderson. Everybody else has been crazy and/or gross. Mostly gross people. Names? Why not. Roger and Rudolph were/are gross, Randolph is both, and Ronald was crazy. Ugh. I'm shuddering at the thought of all of them. I have to go, like, now, though, so some other time I will tell you the story of these people, because most of you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Bye!

I should say something before you people die of boredom.

Something.

Ha!

Anyway.

Su cabeza lo más probable es explotar por falta de inhalación jirafa en menos de siete segundos.


"Your head will most likely explode from lack of giraffe inhalation in less than seven seconds."


I bet you're cracking up now.


What else shall I say in Spanish?


Lo siento señor, su cabeza parece estar estancado en los pantalones que elefante pequeño. ¿Quieres un poco de ayuda con eso?


"I'm sorry sir, your head seems to be stuck in that little elephant's pants. Would you like some help with that?"


Nothing interesting has happened recently, but I will say that I have had an exceptionally good weekend. Goodbye.

This idiotic, to say the most.

Now you see that Justin Beiber really doesn't have an education.

Anyway, now I will quote Shakespeare.

"[Thou hath] not so much brain as ear wax."